The following are the liner notes to the CD release Best Of The Waitresses. These were sent to me directly by Chris Butler
(straight from his computer. COOL!) And all punctuation and grammatical mistakes are his. (Hey, I'm not gonna take the blaim for it Chris!)
LINER NOTES TO WAITRESSES' -BEST OF... i do not want to be in Kent, ohio, anymore. i do
not want it to be another post-gig, ground down, po' boy, two in the a.m. in 1977, either (ten
years, man ten -yeah. I was there May 4th...a '70's artist on food stamps-friends o.d. ing-town
burning down-can't believe I'm still here'- years.) what i want is to slump in this pancake house's
booth forever...forever watching a waitress with an architecturally-impossible beehive pull a full
pot off the bunn-o-matic, tilt her head in my direction until gravity grabs hold of her hair and she's
dragged over to where me and my friend liam sternberg have collapsed -you're right, butler, liam
nods. -she doesn't really walk , does she? it's more like a controlled fall. so how are we gonna
get out of here? he plays guitar for an elvis imitator who's the king of the bowling alley lounge
circuit. i'm spared that...i bass for kent's marvelous 15-60-75, the only no-day-job combo playing
original material in the area we're the best. but. -but...hey...DEVO...ya know?' -yeah...and
chrissie hynde's in england, right? and the dead boys and pere ubu are running away every
weekend to new york because it buzzes there and record companies are grudgingly shedding
some of there disco dollars for that bowery sound and punk is exploding in the uk
and...well...here we are . we can talkingheads-tv-voidoid, too, but who has the time and where
are the players to start yet another group? inspired answer: lie. start imaginary bands. fake a
huge homegrown scene, start an arts and music paper to give the local media hell and publicize
our -piltdown bands' exploits. -i'll be the belvederes, liam says. -an i'll be the...the...' -more
coffee, dearie?,' miss beehive asks me while grinding a stick of gum into submission. i swear i
hear it scream. the next morning, there's a woman behind the counter at jerry's diner (home of
the big howie) wearing a t-shirt that reads -Waitresses Unite!'. uh oh. irony and prophecy. this
idea is only hour sold and the world is already nudging me towards it. towards the
demystification of the music business thanks to affordable, semi-pro multitrack tape machines.
towards self-produced, homemade records hustled by idealistic 'be a record mogul in your spare
time' entrepreneurs who know in their very bones that rock 'n' roll is too important to be left to
vulgar, aging stars and fat cat entertainment conglomerates. towards a Do It Yourself, -control
the means of production- work ethic that will, in the next few years, beget the fanzines and new
clubs and hundreds of small labels and thousands of new bands, all of whom will one day be
filed under 'new wave' in the rock museum archives. and then one day i write this song and then
it's noon and the liquid lunchers are packed into a boho bar called walter's on kent's notorious
water street strip. i stand on a chair and bang a beer bottle for attention and declare 'i need a
chanteuse to coo a tune.' now, here's a chance to actually do something (people were always
griping about how there was nothing going on and how they were getting it together to leave
town...uh...soon). the song is funny and stupid and cool and different and is anybody
interested? a voice in the back says 'uh huh.' it's Patty. then she quits school again and
moves to galveston, texas, or someplace. stiff record comes a'stalking DEVO but settles for a
couple of singles and the akron compilation album, spiriting liam off to england in the process. i
join akron's tin huey, we get signed to warner brothers, but we don't survive the music biz's
crash of '79. i move to NYC and boy, it is buzzing with clubs and bands, real and artificial
energy...and hungry record labels. i still have this song , so i give a copy to dj mark kamins who
takes it to island records. he get's a job in a & r and i get a record deal. then i don't have a
record deal. then i get signed to ZE records who are distributed by island anyway, so it all works
out. 'we'll need a b-side,' they say, 'and by the way...where's your band?' i lie and tell them
they're back in the midwest.'help,' i say to new york. new york steers me to bleecker bob's
record store. 'what's the coolest band in town?' i beg, and he gives me a contortions record
(also on the ZE label) but adds that they've just broken up. pity. i track down a few of them
(they're from the midwest, too) an wire Patty my last fifty bucks (the truth!) to jump on the 'hound
and come to new york and be in a rock band -only if you want to, i caution her. -s'ok, she says.
-there's nothing good on tv tonight, anyway. we rehearse too much, play an audition night at
CBGB, then debut at Little Club 57 on New Year's Eve weekend, 1980-81. that song keeps
popping up around the usa, so we spend a year or so low-budget touring to any place where
we're on the radio. musicians come and go as well, until we are the extraordinary Mars
Williams (a/k/a mr. salty, ex-anthony braxton's copyist and friend of tin huey's ralph carney) on
saxes, drummer Billy Ficca from television (tin huey had opened for tv's last dates at the bottom
line) and Dan Klayman (another akron transplant, the owner of an amazing leisure suit collection
and also a friend of Ralph's) on keyboards. our bassist, Tracy Wormworth (of the killer chops,
the all-purpose -dah! and the million-watt smile, is just walking down the street one day with a
gig bag when our friend Otto Kontrol asks her if she wants to join a band. -why?, she asks him.
-isn't there anything good on tv tonight? we get pretty good and people like us, then we record
Christmas Wrapping and more people like us. the NYC fire marshalls don't like us,
however...they keep shutting down our peppermint lounge shows because too many people
come, then we make an album and go to california and...damn!...they like us there, too, so we
decide to try and figure ourselves out. we know that we're the only rock band around that sings
short stories and parks a tibetan monk horn solo in the middle of a funk groove. then somebody
writes we're smart and fun and that our songs seem to speak to/for the work-a-day sadies and
sammies who are fed up with being yelled at by stereotypical rock-sluts, yet who are also self-
reliant and tough enough to have no patience with the whiney-sensitive folk strummers.
somebody else writes that we're good musicians, and that it's refreshing to see a bunch of
experimentalists making serious, angular pop. ok, we can live with all that...sometimes it takes
a word-mirror to see how you look. then we're watching ourselves on tv lip-synching an
instant theme song we've been suckered into staying up all night writing and recording because
we're candide and justine and f. scott in hollywoodland and we're exhausted and cranky but we
keep pushing and go to england and come back and tour and go to england to record a second
album. and then everything kinda...just...crumples. so what happened? ah jeez...all kinds
of things. like remember when you were little and you were scared of the dark? well, you were
right...there is evil in the night, and it's very easy to become a victim of too much fun. but it's so
embarrassing! how could a bunch of stubborn people who refused to be cliches stumble smack
into a typical show biz crash and burn. maybe it's because -that which ye be the most afraid of
is guaranteed to happen...so you can work through it and come out the other side and not be
afraid anymore. all i know is that i was trying to write three-minute Preston Sturges movies, but
as it turned out, we were all really living All About Eve .but hey...that was seven years ago and
every cell in our bodies change every seven years so now everyone of us is a completely
different person so B. F. D. you asked me so i told you. you also bought this records (thank
you) and, in a sense, asked me over. so ya got any beer? chips? whatcha been doin'? c'mon,
talk to me...it's been a long time. there's nothing good on tv tonight, anyway. ...but there's
gonna be some good old movies on your stereo.
chris butler/july '90
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There is a series of books called The Post Punk Diaries by George Gimarc that are really outstanding. They are
published by St. Martin's Griffin and each comes with a CD. I highly recommend them. Here are their diary entries for
the Waitresses:
MAY 10th, 1980 Saturday
Bowling Balls From Hell is the title of a collection of Akron Bands just released.The Waitresses start
out the LP with Wait Here I'll Be Right Back. The song won't be much of a hit, in fact it will hardly be noticed at all
until it is re-recorded 6 months later and re-titled I Know What Boys Like. The musicians that recorded for this album
were Chris Butler on guitar, bass, and fake synth, Rick Dailey on piano, Nappy Lemans on right channel drums,
Stuart Austin on left channel drums, Ralph Carney on sax, and Patty Darling on vocals.>
DECEMBER 18th, 1980
The Waitresses have a one off deal with Ze Records who have released a single of their song I Know What Boys Like. The Waitresses
started in 1977 when Chris Butler and his friend Patty Darling (aka Patty Donahue) started fooling around with a home tape machine.
At the time, Butler was in an Akron R&B band called 15-60-75 and was soon to join Tin Huey. These days there's a "real" version of
The Waitresses instead of a group of friends and borrowed musicians. The original members are Chris and Patty, Dan Klayman ex-Stereos
on keys, Billy Ficca ex-Television on drums, Mars Williams on sax, and David Hofstra on bass. This Ze single is flipped with No Guilt.
APRIL 29th, 1981
Bowling Balls From Hell 2 is the follow up to the successful compilation of Akron bands that was released on Clone this time last year.
The Waitresses are here again with a unique track called Astronettes.
NOVEMBER 1st, 1981
Waitresses secure themselves a standing as singers of a new Christmas classic. The song is Christmas Wrapping, but has more to do with
rapping than colored paper. It's part of A Christmas Album released on Ze Records.
JANUARY 13th, 1982
Waitresses new album Wasn't Tomorrow Wonderful isn't so new after all. It was recorded a year ago, but got shelved when Ze had financial
difficulty, but the band was picked up by Polydor. Chris Butler started the group as a way to use his ideas that weren't quite right for
Tin Huey. When the group first started most of the musicians on the tapes were from Jane Aire and The Belvederes and The Waitresses were the same.
Dave Robinson from Stiff was introduced to the sound by Mark from DEVO and they were all signed up to be on Stiff's Akron Compilation
with the stink rubber tire on the cover. Since that time there have been many line up changes, but the permanent band is Chris Butler,
Patty Donahue, Dan Klayman, Mars Williams, Billy Ficca, and Tracy Wormworth (bass).
SEPTEMBER 27th, 1982
The Waitresses are appearing in a cameo role on the new CBS TV comedy called Square Pegs. The show follows the lives of Weemawee High
School students Patty Green and Lauren Hutchinson who desperately want to be popular in school. The Waitresses provided the theme song and
in return were granted a brief appearance in it.
NOVEMBER 3rd, 1982
The Waitresses have a new maxi-single out just in time for the holiday season. It is a re-release of last year's Christmas Wrapping.
Plus the new song The Smartest Person I Know and a live version of the Tin Huey song I Could Rule The World. The oddest track is a cover of
The Newbeats 1964 song Bread And Butter. Included is their theme song to the CBS series Square Pegs.
**************************
Here's the Waitresses entry from The Virgin Encyclopedia of Eighties Music
by Colin Larkin. Virgin Books 1997
"Formed in 1978 in Akron Ohio USA the Waitresses were a new wave/pop band which achieved moderate popularity after
relocating to the New York area in the early eighties. The group was led by Chris Butler (guitar, formerly
of Tin Huey, an Akron based avante garde rock band), Patty Donahue (vocals), Dan Klayman (keyboards), Mars
Williams (saxophone), Tracy Wormworth (bass), and Billy Ficca (drums, ex-Television). After releasing
an independent single on the Clone label in 1978,the Waitresses signed to the Polygram subsidiary Ze Records
in 1982. Their single I Know What Boys Like, which cast Donahue as a tease who delighted in not giving boys what they liked,
was a popular dance hit in clubs and recieved substantial college radio airplay, reaching number 62 in the US.
The debut, Wasn't Tomorrow Wnoderful, on Polydor Records, recieved critical acclaim and was their highest
charting record at number 41. The group's 1982 mini-album was issued in the USA under the title I Could
Rule The World If I Could Only Get The Parts, and in the UK as Make The Weather; only the US version
featured Christmas Wrapping, which became a popular rap hit in clubs."
**************************
This is from The Trouser Press Record Guide
by Ira A. Robbins.
Original Entry by Jim Green:
"Composer/guitarist Chris Butler invented the Waitresses; fellow
Akronite Patty Donahue gave the idea its voice. From an original joke
and an appearance on a local Ohio compilation album the Waitresses grew
into a well known New York based sextet (including ex-Television drummer
Billy Ficca) churning out danceable funky pop tunes spiked with a few
twists. Furthermore, Donahue's persona- she doesn't sing so much as
carry on a conversation and tune- has been developed into the
archetypical young,white,middle-class woman trying to sort out her
identyity while beset with standard societal conditioning on one hand
and voguish alternatives on the other. The Waitresses combination of
musical aplomb and lyrical acuity makes the first lp funny, sad, and
true.
The I Could Rule The World EP contains TV theme song Square Pegs,
Christmas Wrapping, and a live take of an old Tin Huey's Butler tune
among others. The British version entitled Make The Weather lacks
Christmas Wrapping.
Bruisiology was recorded during much personnel tension. (Donahue
subsequently quit.) Although Butler penned another batch of witty wise
songs about modern womanhood the formula just doesn't wear well at all."
**************************
This is from Rock -The Essential Album Guide
by Gary Graff
entry by Allan Orski
Visible Ink Press 1996
"Boasting an armful of smart aleck one liners and a funkified pop beat, The Waitresses became
a surprise, albeit short lived, sensation with the teasing I Know What Boys Like in 1982.
Although Chris Butler wrote the material, it was the pragmatic voice of Patty Donahue that
stamped the smirking but no foolin' demeanor that identified The Waitresses on the group.
The Best Of The Waitresses is all that's left and contains everything essential,
including Christmas Wrapping and the theme song to the 80s TV show Square Pegs."
**************************
Here's the Rolling Stone Album Guide entry for the Waitresses
entry by J.D.Considine
Straight Arrow Publishers 1992
"How can a feminist pop group be fronted by a woman, but masterminded by a man?
How honest can a song called A Girls Gotta Do be when the girl in question is only reading lines written by a guy?
The answer to both should be, "not very", yet somehow The Waitresses make a strong case for the contrary view.
Of course, it helps that the most convincing element in the groups chemistry is singer Patty Donahue,
whose winningly amatuerish delivery injects enough personality into these songs to bring even the most
exaggerated of songwriter Chris Butler's constructs to life. Over the jangly, new-wave funk of Wasn't Tomorrow
Wonderful, Donahue brings depth and credibility to songs like No Guilt and It's My Car, and slips enough
deadpan wit into I Know What Boys Like to bring it's nyah-nyah choruses to life (though even she can't
make Pussy Strut work). I Could Rule The World maybe just an EP, but it boasts two of the group's best numbers -
the catchy Square Pegs theme and Christmas Wrapping, perhaps the most affecting sketch in the repertoire.
Bruisiology, on the other hand, is a mixed bag. The music is great, effortlessly weaving together jazz,
funk, and new wave, but the lyrics are unfocussed and unfunny, with Donahue just going through the motions."
**************************
From the New Rolling Stone Record Guide
(Dave Marsh & John Swenson Rolling Stone Press 1983)
comes this entry by Jim Farber
" Wasn't Tomorrow Wonderful - a collection of chirpy wise ass songs - some truly witty, others mer novelty fluff. The lead singer sounds
like Debbie Harry with her IQ doubled, and even though her talky delivery and the music's relentless bouncy
beat make their songs all sound the same, several choice cuts like the sarcastic No Guilt are both screamingly
funny and relatable."