Let me start by saying that I am very happy; however, as a teenager I was very miserable.
I was one of those kids who were picked on. Everyday I was called names and humiliated for the amusement of the popular kids.
I want to let all of you who are currently going through this know that it does get better. After graduation everything changes.
Believe it or not, most of the ones who are acting like jerks now will grow out of it. Some of the people who were meanest to me in school now treat me as an equal.
Even if they don't change just seeing them now and then at the mall or grocery store is alot different than spending 8 hours a day with them.
As an adult I was always ashamed to tell people that I was picked on in school. I didn't want them thinking "Oh, she's one of those". But recently I realized that it's a kind of rape. It's something of which you are very ashamed and yet you did nothing wrong, you did not deserve it.
Remember, there is nothing wrong with you. They are the ones with the character flaw. They are the ones who can only feel good about themselves by making other people feel bad.
One way that I made it through was by writing poetry. It's not very good, but it helped. I have included some of my poetry. Read it, share my pain, and then relax
knowing that with time and patience:

THINGS DO GET BETTER!!




If you know a teen who is hurting because of teasing then tell them about my page.It just might help. If you are a teen who is suffering and you need some encouragement then e-mail me at:


Hannahtoes



Parents who do not know what these kids are going through I recommend renting the movies NEVER BEEN KISSED, ANGUS, and WELCOME TO THE DOLLHOUSE.



I'm a worrier! I worry so much about things that might happen that I ruin alot of my time. And usually the things I worry about never come to be. I have tried to take to heart this line from the song Life In One Day by Howard Jones:
"Try to enjoy the here and now...The future will take care of itself somehow"



------ My Poetry ------
all poetry is the property of Sandee R. Owen, but may be distributed freely as long as proper credit is given.

THE DATE
Hey,why did you ask me out today?
Take me home
My parents aren't there,
but I'll be fine
(what does he care).
I know you only did it on a dare,
but please tell me that just a little you cared.

BEST FRIEND
You were always there when I needed someone.
All the little secrets we shared
Whatever I told you I knew would never go any farther
Whenever I was sad I could put my head on your shoulder and cry.
And just the way you looked at me I knew you understood.
The way you had always been there for me I was there for you.
It came suddenly
One day you collapsed,your legs just went out from under you.
But I was there and I stayed with you till the end.
When you were too weak to do it for yourself
I fed you from a spoon and gave you water from a cup.
I loved you so much that when you died I felt betrayed
you wouldn't be there for me anymore.
They say man's best friend is his dog.
This time they were right.

Dedicated to "Lady", my best friend until I was 16.

TIME
Time goes by
on and on
the world moves and grows
but my life never seems to change
like one terribly long day.

MY SADDEST POEM
I cry for help,
but no one hears.
Maybe they hear
they just don't care.

APPARITION

I saw a face at the window looking in.
It was pale and ugly and very unhappy.
Suddenly I realized
it was my own reflection.

HELP
Sometimes I wake up and stare at the ceiling.
In the darkness of the night I get the emptiest feeling.
I get a chair to sit by the window
My life is good so why do I feel so low?
The stars look so beautiful.
They are God's most precious light
If He can create all of that so perfectly
Surely He can help me.
"God please help me!"



I believe there is only one true GOD.
He is composed of God the Father (who lives in Heaven)
God the Son (who we know as Jesus)
and God the Spirit (who lives with us here)
I believe Jesus was born from a virgin who was given Jesus by the Spirit.
I believe Jesus was born, lived, and died sinless.
He died as a sacrifice to pay for our sins so that we wouldn't have to.
I believe because he was sinless that he defeated death and physically rose up from his grave to go to Heaven and live with the Father.
I believe if we ask him to use his sacrifice to pay for our sins that he will go to the Father and say "I know this person".
and then the Father will hear our prayers, the Spirit will help us and comfort us, and we also will defeat death and go to live in Heaven with God.




I suffer from Trichotillomania which is a condition similar to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder which causes a person to pull out their own hair little by little.

Here's a wonderful poem by Claire Dean that explains how it feels to have this disorder:

I, he, she, others...
So many people out there
suffer ... alone ...
but together.

So much in common
so many ...
so alone ... every last one.
It's okay
It's okay
You're not the only one

Fighting
feel alone
feel like a freak!
Why?
Why me?
Why can't I stop?
Simple concept
but there's more to it.

I've tried everything
can't stop
It's bad for me
Why do I do it?
Unexplainable urge and strange satisfaction overule logic.

It's comforting.
Why? That's bizare!!
I've always done it ... always
can't stop now
can't remember when it started ...
Long ago.

I can't remember back to when I didn't do it.
It's a part of me.
It's the way I am
It's what I do,
and I hate it!

No one understands
they laugh or shrug it off.
They don't understand.
You can't unless it's a part of you too.
You have to suffer ...
To experience every aspect of it to understand
the anguish.

That's why I feel so alone.
I need someone ...
someone who understands how it feels
That's the Trich





Please encourage your local lawmakers to pass "Scruffy's Law" in your area.
This law would make animal abuse a felony instead of a misdemeanor.